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Why is virginity so coveted? This post asks some important questions. Recently, I stumbled upon a video going viral on social media. The concept was a good one — Would you marry your son to a rape victim?
But the views of the men on the streets of India really baffled me. I want my daughter-in-law to be pure too. I was very upset, angry, and taken aback by this statement. My objective is to try to understand why virginity carries such a great value in our belief system, and why that is flawed. Also, if they remain virgins, God will bless them with a lovely family.
What is such a big deal about it? Sex is a natural act. No amount of sex can make one unpure. The second reason why it is so wrong to impose these ideas of virginity on girls is because it does not give them a chance to explore their sexuality. They do not know anything about their own bodies, let alone sex, till they marry. After marriage, they are dutifully expected to be at the service of their husbands. This needs to stop. To have or not have sex is a matter of individual choice.
As far as a rape victim is concerned, firstly, its not her fault that she was raped. It is just a crappy idea embedded in our heads that sex is bad, sex is filthy. Even when it is done in a manner as heinous as rape, no one wants to talk about the perpetrator. Everyone is concerned about how the girl is not pure. This makes me sad. I am sure there are many others like him. You can do whatever you want, with whoever you want. Before marriage or after, does not matter at all.
So educate young girls on how sex is a natural process, and not a dirty one. You know, I was told by my mother to save myself for marriage, that premarital sex was a sin and it was very wrong to commit such an act. However, my mother was having plenty of premarital sex with her boyfriend now husband. But it made me feel like she was sinning and I lost a lot of respect for my own mother. I started despising her boyfriend and it caused a lot of problems within my household. I am now an adult and have not saved myself for marriage because I felt like an adult at 15, but I am engaged to the man of my dreams now.